Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Bearable Lightness of Unsubbing

The weeks away with Mum allowed me time to assess her level of capability and mine.

She is no longer interested in cooking for herself (although she can still manage biscuits for the grand-children and the dog food - but this can be done in peak energy times, not in the evening when she's worn out), and manage other things like laundry and grocery shopping.

While I was already doing some of these things for her, it was when she asked - now it's factored in on a daily basis.

We have got her more home assistance, so cleaning is not a huge issue and that's a big help.

In the few weeks I've been trying to accommodate Mum's increased needs, my long-suffering mates have been advising reducing my activities. Well I would, but that happened already. I stopped attending SnB and didn't renew my memberships of the textile groups I used to belong to and attend. I have resisted invitations and enticements to join new groups or to take an active role in those I have continued membership of. I don't see my friends as much as I used to or as often as I'd like. I can't afford to give up work and I'm not prepared to reduce the pitifully small time The Old Flame and I spend together so I had to look at other areas that take up time.

This week I've been uncluttering my virtual life: unsubbing from email lists, changing profile settings on the time suck that is Facebook so I don't receive ridiculous email updates, leaving Ravelry fora and unfollowing advertisers and negative people on Twitter.

Now the email I receive is from people I want to keep in touch with and is a joy. The blogs I read are the ones I treasure. There is no blog reading or email replying backlog to make me feel bad and I can keep up with all of this in the half hour or so I allocate to it each morning.

13 comments:

missfee said...

Good on you!!
Sorry to hear about your Mum.

I am in admiration of the uncluttering of your cyber and craft life. It is really hard to keep up with everything and quality is worth so much more the quantity.

TinkingBell said...

Hugs from Tasmania and cyberspace - its hard looking after the ones we love, but maybe your practice in de-cluttering helped some?

seepi said...

You sound busy cooking and shopping for an extra.

There is also Woolies homeshop, or some of the IGAs will do a regular local delivery order, to save you the shopping.

And there are loads of great convenience foods now too. they are better than the tv dinners of old.

Latina pasta is lovely. And tinned soup is lovely these days too.

2paw said...

It is hard when your rellies get older, you are doing a great job, I agree with Miss Fee, I think all your de-cluttering must have stood you in good stead. Hope everything potters along smoothly and you enjoy the quality in your life!!

Olivia said...

Your uncluttering sounds very sensible. I hope it helps you find a better balance and a bit more time for yourself too.

JustJess said...

Sorry to hear about your Mum. This all sounds very sensible, but don't cut out too many of the things you enjoy... respite for the soul. Hugs to you and yours.

Grand Purl Baa said...

Oh dear that is so sad to give up you textile pursuits but then one has to do what one has to do and you are a very good daughter.

All the best with everything.

Kate said...

All the above advice and observations are spot on. Reading your post forcibly reminded me of 7 Things. Perhaps that was training for this new, leaner version of a social life. But I'm with Just Jess - don't throw out the bath with the bath water. Perhaps a Project Night will help with injecting pure fun into your narrowing lifestyle. Every couple of months I invite 6-8 people over for desert (a few folks always bring stuff whose recipes they're trying out) and coffee, starting around 8pm, and folks bring their projects or just stuff that they haven't been able to get to because of homelife pressures, e..g updating hardcopy or PDA address books. It's usually a very productive evening and a great chance to catch up with a lot of people at once. As most of your friends know your mum's difficulties, they know that you might have to absent yourself or cancel at the last minute so no feelings will be hurt.

Donna Lee said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's so heartbreaking to watch the ones we love get older.

I don't do twitter or have a blogroll or anything like that. I had to look at what was important to me and focus on those. It's made life easier and quieter.

Tanya said...

Isn't it so hard to fit everything into life sometimes? It seems that equilibrium is so finely balanced that it really doesn't take that much to upset the apple cart. Sometimes one has to be ruthless and carve voraciously into time suckers.

And I bet your mum really appreciates what you are doing for her.

Five Ferns Fibreholic said...

Big hugs from across the ocean. It's hard when your days are not your own and it seems like you have to give up far too much. But getting rid of the clutter and the time wasters in our lives is always a good thing.

Don't forget Taph time, you deserve it!

Lynne said...

Some very wise decisions there. Good luck with it all.

Five Ferns Fibreholic said...

I am going for my BA in humanities as I plan on going for my MLIS afterwards. Since it will all be done through correspondance, I can make my own schedule so that nothing will interfere with my trip. I start with my first course in November and I can't wait. I am going to contact my former schools and see if I can get credits for my two college diplomas. This will cut down on the time that it will take me to get the BA