Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Cr****t rant (yes, another one)

Right, none of you had better ever try to convince me of the validity of cr****t again. No, I mean it.

Sometimes I feel really mean taking the piss out of cr****t and then someone does this. Go ahead, look. I'll wait.
http://thecrochetdudepatterns.blogspot.com/2006/08/glass-flip-flops.html

Now I really hope he was being at worst whimsical and at best subverting the form, but I think he's quite serious about this.

I am an equal opportunity blogger. I think it's great that guys do needlework. More of them should. If more of them did we might get taken a bit more seriously. Do you really think we wouldn't be allowed to knit or even cr****t on planes in this country if the blokes in suits up at the pointy end of the plane knitted? For goodness' sake, they're called airCRAFT. But back to my point. I don't think it's stupid because he's a guy or even that it's cr****t (I could so knit one of those) but because it's a useless, tasteless waste of time. And just as I was coming round to the whole dishcloth thing, too.

To answer Kylie. The wool on my needles in what some may call gold, others may call mustard and now that I'm nearly halfway up the back I am secretly referring to as baby shit yellow, is a vintage Villawool 5ply crepe. I'm knitting a vest. We are calling it the Celebate Vest because I am not sleeping with the person it is being knitted for. Mon has a rule that she only knits for people who provide sex - she puts out so they should.

9 comments:

kylie said...

thats just not ok - i try to be zen about the craft that can not be named, not liking to think of myself as a judgemental person, but screw it, youve got to draw the line somewhere. cr****t must die. and yes im going to say it, scrapbooking as well. cant bear it. like half of lincraft taken up with stupid glitzy bits of paper just so bored housewives can decorate the pictures of their little preciouses and call themselves creative. spare me. sorry to all bored scrapbooking housewives out there but i mean really....whats the world coming to?

Margie said...

ARGH! Kylie I agree with you wholeheartedly. Scrapbooking is a no-talent money guzzler waste of time.

Those thongs are appalling. Can you imagine going to a party and making an effort to dress up and feeling very glam and then being assaulted with a piece of crap that makes it look like your glass stepped in something? Blargh.

Bells said...

I love crochet. There. I've said it.

But scrapbooking AND stamp work are, as a friend of mine says, lesser arts.

Jejune said...

I'm SO with you ladies about scrapbooking and stamping... another way of fleecing more money off people who can't figure out how to do something creative for themselves... don't get me started! They're so - gotta say it - CHEATY.

And yes, those thongs are pretty awful, but I still maintain that there are some good uses for cr****t, some places where you know it makes sense, and some patterns that are lovely. Amongst a huge morass of crap, but the gems do exist. Honest.

larissa said...

Ooh, them's fighting words! Look out, or I'll get Renee on to you! :)

kylie said...

i wll concede that those cr*****ed rugs with the different coloured flowers in them are pretty cool, and im just jealous that i never got one cos my grandma was too busy knitting coathanger covers out of plastic sandwich bags. *sigh*. at least it was knitting i guess...

happyspider said...

the way i see it is this...
cr****t is.. perhaps not valid, a frustrating passtime, often ugly and quite breathtakingly useless... but at least its fibre! and occasionaly a hook can be used to rescue a nice knit.
scrapbooking... omg. there arent a lot of photos of me as a bub, but it could have been worse - there could have been millions cut out with shiny glittery stupid bits of paper, with little 'it's a girl!' 'little angel' etc stickers all over it. and i cant even begin to imagine how irritating the phenomena is for the delisciously genuinely talented artistic genius that is jejunes collage work.
hummmf

Bells said...

this anti-crochet vibe is such a surprise to me! Sorry. Did I do the wrong thing by typing out the whole word???

Crochet was my introduction to fibre art as a little girl and although i don't do it as much as I used to, it's still something I love. There's beautiful work out there and there's something wonderfully rhythmic about the way the hook just flows through the yarn. there's a rhythm in crochet that, although I love knitting, hasn't quite come to me yet with needles. I feel most at home with a hook in my hand.

So, I say it again, crochet is good!

Jejune said...

Um, yeah, I must admit I find scrapbooking and the plethora of magazines pushing this 'quick fix kit craft' pretty galling... on par with 'paint by number' paintings. Good fun for many, but not really artistic or creative.

My Nanna taught me to cr****t, and while I got it out of my system as a teenager (I even made a whole net top for summer, in nice white cotton), I do occasionally see something nice. And I know what you mean about the rythm, Bells.

But we all need to acknowledge that Taph has had some VERY traumatic cr***t experiences in her life, including swans on doilies, so we must be kind. She has PCSD (Post Cr****t Stress Disorder), and her trauma can be triggered by even the sight of a hook, or The Word. Hence the stars :)